If you’re like me, you’re flummoxed by any meal other than dinner. It’s a rare day that I have it together enough in the morning to prepare a bowl of cereal, let alone actually cook something, and nice lunches have always been something of a mystery to my family. We don’t really know how other people do it. As of now I eat leftovers or buy a sandwich, and when I was in elementary school, my mom would send me to school with sandwiches made from leftovers, Tupperware bowls full of sugar-free Jell-O, and maybe fruit snacks. Delicious for tiny me, but not exactly a meal fit for a grown-up.
Anyway, due to these psychological impediments I tend to be unreasonably proud when I put together a breakfast or lunch worth eating. (You should have seen me when I made a sandwich with something other than PB&J or meatloaf and mayo. I was practically bouncing off the walls.) That is why I am about to blog for you a variant of scrambled eggs in the same tones in which I have written about legit dinner recipes. Feel free to look away in reflected embarrassment. I would join you, but I’m too busy being fucking delighted about my breakfast.
3 eggs (I use organic or all-natural because I’m crunchy like that)
Milk (Organic is the tastiest, obviously.)
Fresh-ground black pepper
Take your eggs and crack them into a bowl. Ever since I started using organic/all-natural eggs, I’ve noticed two things: the eggs themselves are much hardier and more resistant to whisking, and the shells are less so. Unlike regular eggs, the shells are less apt to crack in long lines and more apt to sort of crumble. It’s a rare day that I don’t wind up with a tiny piece of shell in my eggs. Anyway, take three eggs and crack them into a bowl. Add a generous splash of milk, a bunch of pepper and a bunch of salt. I usually use about half a tomato, diced (which will look like too much on the cutting board and be perfect in the eating) and two or three slices from half an onion, diced. As far as the thyme goes, I use … a lot. I don’t know man, maybe two or three teaspoons of leaves? I would honestly just add thyme until you feel you’ve added a lot. Five or six sprigs’ worth, easy.
Then you proceed as you would for any egg scramble: butter in the pan on medium-high heat, when butter is melted add eggs, move them around the pan until they’re done. Do not use olive oil instead of butter, and I promise I will never say that again, but seriously, your eggs will not forgive you. I personally like my eggs so dry that no one else in the house will touch them. My mom likes them runny. Different strokes for different folks!