breakfast. brace yourselves.

If you’re like me, you’re flummoxed by any meal other than dinner. It’s a rare day that I have it together enough in the morning to prepare a bowl of cereal, let alone actually cook something, and nice lunches have always been something of a mystery to my family. We don’t really know how other people do it. As of now I eat leftovers or buy a sandwich, and when I was in elementary school, my mom would send me to school with sandwiches made from leftovers, Tupperware bowls full of sugar-free Jell-O, and maybe fruit snacks. Delicious for tiny me, but not exactly a meal fit for a grown-up.

Anyway, due to these psychological impediments I tend to be unreasonably proud when I put together a breakfast or lunch worth eating. (You should have seen me when I made a sandwich with something other than PB&J or meatloaf and mayo. I was practically bouncing off the walls.) That is why I am about to blog for you a variant of scrambled eggs in the same tones in which I have written about legit dinner recipes. Feel free to look away in reflected embarrassment. I would join you, but I’m too busy being fucking delighted about my breakfast.

You’ll need:
3 eggs (I use organic or all-natural because I’m crunchy like that)
Fresh thyme
Milk (Organic is the tastiest, obviously.)
Kosher salt
Fresh-ground black pepper

Take your eggs and crack them into a bowl. Ever since I started using organic/all-natural eggs, I’ve noticed two things: the eggs themselves are much hardier and more resistant to whisking, and the shells are less so. Unlike regular eggs, the shells are less apt to crack in long lines and more apt to sort of crumble. It’s a rare day that I don’t wind up with a tiny piece of shell in my eggs. Anyway, take three eggs and crack them into a bowl. Add a generous splash of milk, a bunch of pepper and a bunch of salt. I usually use about half a tomato, diced (which will look like too much on the cutting board and be perfect in the eating) and two or three slices from half an onion, diced. As far as the thyme goes, I use … a lot. I don’t know man, maybe two or three teaspoons of leaves? I would honestly just add thyme until you feel you’ve added a lot. Five or six sprigs’ worth, easy.

Then you proceed as you would for any egg scramble: butter in the pan on medium-high heat, when butter is melted add eggs, move them around the pan until they’re done. Do not use olive oil instead of butter, and I promise I will never say that again, but seriously, your eggs will not forgive you. I personally like my eggs so dry that no one else in the house will touch them. My mom likes them runny. Different strokes for different folks!


About Sara

I like to talk about media, food, and gender.
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6 Responses to breakfast. brace yourselves.

  1. SWNC says:

    If you’re feeling super-fancy, you can throw in some feta cheese, too. It’s pretty much my go-to when I need to spruce up eggs.

  2. Red Jenny says:

    Could you add some operational details to this? I tried it and it didn’t work out well because I did it wrong.

  3. CitizenE says:

    Fresh is really the most important factor in great eggs, like laid this morning. So even better than “organic” from the store is to find someone who raises hens for the purpose locally and buy from them. The real signpost, the color of the yolks, an almost orange color, rather than the milkier version one sees in eggs that are not as fresh.

    Best melting cheeses for eggs–fontina, then gouda, muenster will do. Of course really good cheddars are terrific too, but the above for melty texture cannot be beat.

    Spices and herbs to taste (I personally swing toward a southwestern style, quick dried fresh oregano, and especially ground chinmayo red pepper, but any good ground mild to medium hot red chile is good, and for those who like the spice, ground, ripe and red, dried jalapeno is terrific), the same going for ingredients in a scramble, my favorites with meat being the Western–ham, cheese, and red peppers, and San Francisco–spinach and ground beef. Then there are migas, which are cooked with stale tortilla chips (or better, fried to a crisp stale corn tortillas) and a home made red chile sauce. Caribbean style chile sauces, I prefer ones with scotch bonnets or habaneros, but the stand by tobasco is always solid, at the table are also sensational for the scoville challenged taste bud.

    I like red peppers and onions by themselves, zucchini when my garden is overflowing with them. Insofar as tomatoes go, I actually like sliced garden tomatoes lightly sauteed, salted and peppered, and then frying the eggs straight up among them, thyme is good, a little basil if you are feeling mediterannean goes a long way–both fresh (the basil whole leaved, use sliced fresh mozzarella balls to add to the effect if you like, not dried–covering the pan with a lid so that they cook all the way through without over cooking the yolks. It is the yolkiness cooked this way that really enhances a tomatoey flavor.

    Above all the most important element to good scrambled eggs is to cook them so that they are done but still retain their shine. Because of the internal heat, they will continue to cook for a while, and over cooked eggs, while to many people’s taste, bake out some of the lively, eggy flavor.

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